68 Days and 15 Nights

That’s the count for how many days until the pools open and how many nights Clare will fall asleep in Jeff’s arms and not mine. It breaks my heart to think that I won’t be there for our bedtime routine; I’m sure Jeff will do a great job but I consider bedtime to be ‘our’ time.  I love watching her play in the bath and giving her a little massage when I lotion her up before PJ’s.  Sitting with her in her dark room with the sounds of waves softly playing as she drifts off to sleep is absolutely my favorite time of day.

I know that I chose to have a job that ‘works when other’s play’ but it really bites sometimes, times like now.  Before Clare I didn’t dread the long hours as much, I knew Jeff would be waiting for me and that we’d still eat dinner together, I didn’t worry about getting to bed, heck I go to bed earlier than he does anyway.  Now, I count the hours each Monday and figure out just how much I have to work each day and when I can leave early.  Lunch breaks are a thing of the past, I’d rather leave early and get to Clare, working while I eat isn’t so bad.  The last few weeks have been difficult, working 9-hour days and all day Saturday, this past weekend I worked all day Saturday AND Sunday, I hardly saw her awake all weekend!

I’m trying to look on the bright side of things.  Clare will get lots of time with Jeff and I’ll get to see her face light up when I get home (if she isn’t asleep).  I’m finding that when I am off I don’t want to do anything but be with her.  I wish we could lock the front door and have time stand still.  I’ve been trying to take off any extra time I can, Friday’s have been easiest to take off, and luckily my boss doesn’t mind and understands my desire to be home with her. I already have our Monday planned, shopping at Target before our ear check with Clare and home by 12:30 for lunch and a nap followed by an afternoon of playing and babbling.

So, another summer season is starting.  These next few weeks I’ll be doing my best to hire staff, train everyone on what they are supposed to be doing (and praying that they actually do it), getting the swim team up and running, and working to get the pools open. While I’m doing all of this I’ll be thinking of my Lady Clare and wishing I could be with her.  Thinking of October – December when I can leave early and have time on my hands, thinking of how I can maximize every moment with her and not miss a thing. This working Mother gig sucks. 

68 days seems like so long and 15 nights is too many!

On the bright side only 177 days until Labor Day when the pools close!!

Oh, and Jeff, you better start using the camera while I’m away, I don’t want to miss a thing!!