Happy Birthday Clare

There are a few blog entries that I've written over and over in my head, this is one of them, there are so many things I want to say, I hope I can get all of my thoughts onto paper, I don’t want to forget anything. 

Today started with Clare waking up around 7:30, I found her in her crib playing with Bunny and Sissy, when I walked in she smiled.  I sang Happy Birthday to her and she smiled even bigger, I wonder if she knew today was a special day.  I took her into our room where she could wake Jeff up, he was happy to see her and wished her a Happy Birthday.  We all spent some time together lounging in bed before going downstairs for a breakfast of berries and French toast sticks and then some playing for before going back upstairs for a nap with Dada.  While Clare and Jeff napped I ran to work to take care of a few quick things, I hated working on her Birthday. 

While I was at work Jeff and Clare got dressed and ready for our day, when I got home we packed up and headed out for Coors Field.  One of my Christmas presents from Jeff was tickets to the Rockies game today; it was nice to spend her Birthday together as a family doing something we enjoy. Clare enjoyed watching the people and even took a nap.  Our seats were in the 7^th row of the Club Level, but we ended up standing inside where it wasn’t windy and we could walk around, I think it worked out really well.  The game got off to a slow start but the Rockies picked it up in the bottom of the 8^th scoring 4 runs to put them ahead, they ended up beating the Cubs 9 to 5. 

Playing with Dada's hat while watching the game on TV while at the game, best seats in the house!

We had a great view from inside, there was even a counter where we set up camp, perfect for putting your drink on or standing on to watch the game.

She took two naps during the game, I think her three short naps combined equaled one good nap.  Despite the break in routine she was in good spirits and had fun.

After the game we waited around for the masses to exit before fighting the crowds, it paid off; the walk back to the car wasn’t bad.  When we got back to the car we decided to go to dinner rather than sit in traffic, so Rodizio Grill it was.  I think we both thought it was fitting, our last trip to Rodizio was on April 16^th of last year, I guess you could say we began and ended Clare’s first year with a meal at Rodizio.  Clare seemed to really enjoy dinner, there were lots of things for her to eat, she enjoyed the fried bananas, grilled pineapple, mashed potatoes and the pasta.   Jeff loved the garlic beef and I had two pieces of the turkey wrapped in bacon; dinner was excellent.

During the drive home I couldn’t help but think about all of the things that have happened in the last year, I can’t believe she’s no longer a baby; she’s a toddler!  Jeff made the comment of what were we supposed to call her now, we can’t call her Baby anymore.  No matter how old she is she’ll always be my Baby. The last year has gone so quickly, it seems like just last week that she was tiny, when did she get so big, wasn’t she just wearing 0-3 month size clothes, how was I buying 18-24 month clothes this weekend and how is it that they will probably fit her next month!?!  I’m sorry, but time is passing far to quickly for my liking.

Putting her to bed tonight I was somehow able to hold myself together.  We held each other tight and talked about our day, I told her how much I loved her and how happy I am to have her in my life, I reminded her again that she was my world and that I love her more than anything in the world.  Her sweet little eyes just watched me, she never looked away and she snuggled in close as I talked.  I remembered back to a year ago when she fit into my one arm, tonight she’s longer than both of my arms, but I still held her just as tight.  I remember our eyes meeting for the first time a year ago tonight, I’ll never forget the look on her face and the feeling in my heart, the memory will forever be in my mind. As I’ve looked at the clock today I thought back to last year, it was about this time last year that I thought the pain couldn’t get any worse, luckily it didn’t thanks to whatever drugs they gave me.   I remember my Mom leaving for the night and her whispering in my ear that it would all be worth it in the end and the wait would be worth every moment, because Clare would be perfect just like I had been to her.  She was right, the pain immediately went away and my heart exploded with love for Clare, she was absolutely perfect and I loved her more than I knew was possible.

I can only imagine what this next year will bring, walking, running, more talking, exploring the world around her and watching her personality come out even more are just a few things I’m sure.  I am so blessed to be her Mama, I have no idea what I did to deserve this perfect sweet little girl, but I am forever grateful for her and will do my best to be the best Mama possible.  I promise to love her more than anything and teach her all I can, she deserves the world, and I hope I can deliver.  

For now Clare is sleeping in her bed, I have only checked on her three times in the last hour and a half.  I told her as I lay her down that I would be picking her up again at 11:48; I want to hold her and kiss her and drink in her sweetness.  My Baby is turning 1.

Happy Birthday Clare, I love you more than anything in the world.