Well, we made it through the week, the first week of daycare. Karen will be watching Clare Tuesday-Friday; hopefully after Jeff hires his vacant assistant position he’ll be able to take Friday’s off and she’ll only be there Tuesday-Thursday. So far Clare doesn’t seem to mind staying with Karen; although she does look curious as you say goodbye, a look of why are you leaving without me? There are four other kids there on various days, Kinnan, Lillie, Asa, Lyla, and another little boy whose name escapes me. Lillie seems to be the most excited about Clare, apparently she enjoys being Karen’s helper and helping with Clare.
Jeff was the stronger one and took her the first day, I had a hard enough time I don’t know that I could have done that without a tear or two. I went into work early so that I could leave early, my new philosophy. When I went to pick her up she smiled at me, I think maybe she was as happy to see me, as I was she. It had been the longest period of time that we had been apart; it felt like eternity to me, I couldn’t imagine how it felt to her. Seeing her smile at the end of the day makes the workday seem not so bad. Her gummy grin melts my heart every time.
I’ve realized the one of biggest reasons I dislike leaving her with Karen is because Karen gets the best parts of the day. Clare is at her best late in the morning. She likes to sleep in, sort of take catnaps all morning before really getting up for the day. She doesn’t really take a good nap in the afternoon so the evenings, starting around 5pm, can be difficult. Bedtime is generally 8pm so we only have a few hours together before bed. I’ve been trying hard to make the most of that time, holding her and talking with her. Weekends have taken on a whole new meaning, I now cherish my weekends, and I can’t wait to spend all my time with her and Jeff.
I suppose that this new routine of ours will get easier, that someday I’ll look back and read this entry and remember when… Until then I’ll keep telling myself that she is happy, enjoying her time with Karen, playing with the other kids and that it’s OK. Until then I’ll continue to go to work, work hard, and hope for the day when I don’t have to work anymore. Someday I hope one of us will be able to stay home with her; that is the full time job I’m hoping to have one day.
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