Why?

I sometimes wonder why I keep blogging. Why spend the time, sometimes hours, writing down every detail of what’s going on and what Clare is doing.  Why do I labor over what to write, why do I type it all in Word first (and still find typos!), why do I feel the need to share and often-over share about our lives.  Why do I get worked up over how many posts I can post during a month, why do I constantly try and beat my previous months record?  Similarly, why do I constantly check the blog view totals to see how many people have read the blog? Why don’t I just start keeping a scrapbook, or a keepsake box, why don’t I just close down this little website and spend the time I worry about it on other things.

Because.

I write this blog for Clare, simple as that.   I sometimes spend hours writing an entry, editing it (even if you can’t tell) and attaching pictures, I do it all for her.  I want Clare to have a baby book, something she can look back on and read and know what was going on in her daily life.  I want her to have a keepsake that nobody else has.  Sure, I could start a scrapbook, but that would require me to be crafty which I’m not particularly. I have a keepsake box, or Rubbermaid bin as the case may be, of things I want to keep for her; her hospital bracelet, her first plane ticket, her first left shoe (Jeff lost the right one) and other little things that probably have no value to anyone other than her Mother. 

I write this blog so that I can remember what’s going on and how Clare has grown.  It’s true what they say; blink and you’ll miss something.  Just today we were walking thru the mall and I saw a 6-month old baby and it struck me that holy moly, Clare was that tiny once a million moons ago.  I want to be able to look back years from now and read about what she did on her trip to Ohio, or about her first visit to the zoo, those are things I’ll want to remember.  I have a pretty good memory, I can recall images fairly well, but I want to know what was going on behind those images, how I was feeling, what she was saying, the funny comments Jeff makes about us and all 1000 words that go with each picture. 

So why do I feel the need to justify why I’m writing this blog?  Because sometimes I forget the real reasons why I’m doing it.  I get wrapped up in the post counts or the number of views, and even more so the lack of comments, I’m always wondering if anyone is reading this silly little web site.  Sure, I know my parents read it more than they do the daily newspaper, but is anyone really interested?  Am I spending these hours typing for no reason, just for me to read someday when I’m old and missing my little girl who’s all grown up? 

No, I’m writing this for Clare, and only Clare.  So, if days go by with no posts it’s because I’m busy being with her, we’re busying be three Sweet’s.  I sometimes need a reality check, a reminder why I’m doing this.  I’m not trying to win a Mommy Blog contest, or compete with another Mother on how many words my child can say.  I’m doing this for Clare. 

While in Ohio I talked to my sister about scrapbooks and the like, I wondered how she did it with two kids; nobody is busier than Sarah in my mind.  She gave a half chuckle and said she made one photo book and the kids could fight over it when they were older.  She creates photo books once a year and adds all sorts of captions and notes about what they were doing and who their family was at that particular time.  I like the idea of there being an actual book; maybe I’ll start doing that.  Maybe I’ll make the blog into a scrapbook of sorts, that way should the Internet die someday and we all move back to paper and pencil I won’t be out of all my written memories.  Yea, I think I will, I think I’ll start doing this ‘old school’ style and have it on actual paper.  What do you think? Suppose anyone would read it then?